Kya Khoya….. Kya Paya……

By- Mridula Chaudhari

Thank you friends for missing this space for new posts, new ideas and new thoughts. Your phone calls have brought me back!

I have abstained from writing for reasons not known to me either. However, my dear friends, you have pulled me back to the place where I rightfully belong. I am back to say ‘Good Bye’ to the year soon to end and welcome the new year with a bang.

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It is time we really peeked into our own self to find out what we did, what we should have done, what we missed and what we could not do in the year gone by. Don’t you think, our mind is a well which is deep and many thoughts remain buried inside? We seldom peep inside and try to fathom our deeper senses to realize what we have achieved so far. The race is so fierce that we never get any opportunity to bask in our glory. Forever we are trying to chase a new horizons.

This year end, I have decided to take stalk of the situation and convey my sincere thanks to all those people who have brought happiness to my life. Needless to say the list starts from my maid who has given me the support that I cannot dream of getting from anybody else. She has been instrumental in making my life much more livable. How else do you think I could host dinners for my friends and relatives? Reach office on time each day of the year and not be ridiculed for coming late? Sleep peacefully at night without getting concerned about next day’s household chores? Should anybody ask me, who has been the backbone of my life for the past one year? The prize will go to my Sunita J

This is no Filmfare award function that we have to thank our dad and mom and husband and children. This is life man J

Let’s be for once thankful to our boss who has utilized our time more productively and also gave us a feel good factor when we look at our bank pass book. He isn’t always a creep man J Let’s give him some benefit of doubt and be more sensitive towards him and thank him for considering us useful.

Let’s also be thankful to that neighbor who has been stabbing us in the back. If not for her, how would we become so strong and ready to take the world head on?

Last but not the least, let’s be thankful to our own selves for being strong and withstanding all the odds against very hot summers, very trying days of demonetization, being patient to read all WhatsApp messages and replying to at least half of them, remembering birthdays of family, extended family, friends and pets, for online shopping festivals that has made life really really easy without going through the hassles of travelling, for the new coffee shop that has come up around the corner, for the newly dug roads that has made us expert drivers, for Rahul Gandhi who has given us enough fodder throughout the year to laugh and cry at the same time, to the film fraternity who dished out variety of cinema.

Do you think I have forgotten anybody? Yes, I know I have but let’s do a silent prayer and add our own ‘Thank You babies’ J

Good bye 2016 and Welcome 2017……more power, more blessings and more perseverance to all of us!!!!

Amen!!!

From Ordinary to Extraordinary

Mridula Chaudhari

Sonia loved to mingle with everybody in the class. She did not go by groupism at all. Typically in schools there are groups formed of likeminded pupils. For Sonia, groups never existed. She would talk to everyone, interact with all the girls and even helped each one whoever needed help.

Sonia always said that she was an ordinary girl. Her parents were not super rich, she was not extremely brilliant either, neither was she an exceptional beauty. She was, in plain words, a simpleton. She took everyone on their face, believed in what was said to her and never complained about anything.

 She was very satisfied in what she possessed and valued all her belongings. She would not waste anything and say, “I am an ordinary person, I cannot afford to waste”.

Sonia had a set of her own life rules. She was a self made person, never depending on anybody for anything. Most of all not expecting anybody’s favour, though not disrespecting if somebody genuinely wanted to help her. She had her hobbies which kept her busy in her free time. She wouldn’t chat on WhatsApp all day to keep herself entertained. She used the internet to gather information useful to her.

She lived life fully and hardly went with the herd. She did hang around at Cafes but always had her timelines well set for herself. Morality was her topmost priority and hence she always referred to herself as ‘ordinary person’. Sonia was lifeline for her parents, they were completely dependent on her for their daily needs. On her part she did all their jobs unflinchingly. She kept saying, “I come from an ordinary background and taking care of my family is my priority”.

Though there was no room for mistakes in Sonia’s life, she still committed mistakes. But instead of covering them up with lies and passing the buck to someone else, she accepted her mistakes confidently. She was always sorry for any wrongdoings and kept reiterating that she would never repeat the mistake and that she should be forgiven for that since she was an ‘ordinary girl’ and not a genius.

I kept wondering, if Sonia is an ordinary person what does an extraordinary person look like? Does she/he have extraordinary powers like Superman or Batman? Can she walk on the roof or drop several villainous men dead? Sonia could do nothing of this kind.

She was the one who stood up to what is right, was sincere to her parents, friends and most of all to herself, she selflessly helped those in need and called herself ‘ordinary girl’.

My interaction with her set my thinking process, “If Sonia is ordinary then what is being extraordinary?” For me I have not met any human being as extraordinary as Sonia. How can she be an ordinary human being? I did not possess half of her qualities and I still felt I had achieved a lot. Today I stand humbled, there is so much to achieve and learn from Sonias of our time.

Art of making friends beyond 25!!

By -  Mridula Chaudhari

The greatest gift of life is friendship, and I have received it.

                                                                         Hubert H. Humphrey

In this world of instagram, facebook, twitter and what not, I was completely foxed when I read the headline, ‘You are unlikely to make friends beyond 25’. How’s that possible? I cannot forget the oft repeated, ‘Man is a social animal’ verbatim in school. With shrinking families and DINKs (Double Income No Kids) doing the rounds, how can we not make friends even if we reach 80 years? After all we need somebody to talk to yaar! How can we just sit glued to our laptops and cellphones and keep hitting the like button and send smilies to every post on Facebook and WhatsApp? No doubt, to do that is our moral responsibility (?), but what about the urge to share happiness and grief by word of mouth and one’s body language doing the talking when we really have to fish for right words?

The article quoted that the scientists after a thorough study inferred that men and women continue to make more friends until the age of 25 and after that the number starts falling, falling and falling more. The article stated, “researchers found that an average 25-year-old man contacts around 19 different people per month, while 25 year old women contacted an average of 17.5 people. By the age of 39, however, men and women were calling an average of 12 and 15 people per month respectively”.

I am quite certain that the scientists probably forgot to take sample survey of Indian people. We Indians just cannot live without making friends, at any age. Be it a stranger on the road or a new family just shifted in the neighborhood. “Aap naye aye ho kya?” would be the opening sentence. “Oh, kahan se aye? Kaise kya aye? Yeh ghar aapko kisne suggest kiya? Aapke kitne bacche hai”, volley of questions would not stop even for the neighbor to offer an answer. The one way traffic stops only if Mrs. Sharma’s cell phone rings, and the conversation stops with, “Let’s meet when you are settled”.

Mrs. Sharma then makes a mental note of visiting her new neighbor in the forthcoming week. Soon the new neighbor is added to one of the many kitties that Mrs. Sharma attends apart from being her facebook friend, WhatsApp friend and is socially active in reality and virtually too. Needless to say that Mrs. Sharma’s new neighbor is left with little choice.

Who said you are unlikely to make friends beyond 25?

Since the past one year, I was requesting my hubby darling to take me on a tour of maybe ‘Exotic America’ or ‘Mesmerizing Australia’ or some other such location. He kept searching the internet for ‘lowest fares’ of air bookings and hotel bookings. I declared, “No, no I don’t want to go alone with you. Let’s go with one of the travelling group tours. That way we will have lot of people to talk to and make new friends”. He, for a change, loved my idea. We went on a tour and believe me we made at least 10 more friends in 8 days. That is some statistics for the scientists to ponder on!!

And somebody said you are unlikely to make friends beyond 25!

My friend’s mother-in-law, now 80 years old, has several groups that are still active. Mondays she goes to sing bhajans, Tuesdays are meant for playing carom, Wednesdays she attends a book reading club, Thursdays are meant for playing cards, Fridays her friends come over for a chit chat and Saturdays are reserved for social work. With new ladies joining the groups, she ends up making new friends even at the tender age of 80.

And then how can I even agree to the headline:

Turning 25? You are unlikely to make new friends now!!!