Mrs Pinkcheeks: World is a stage

Mrs Pinkcheeks: World is a stage: By - Mridula Chaudhari Scenario 1 – While on my usual morning walk, I saw an old friend walking down the road. Thinking that she is ap...

World is a stage

By - Mridula Chaudhari

Scenario 1 – While on my usual morning walk, I saw an old friend walking down the road. Thinking that she is approaching me, I excitedly came forward to meet her. Just when I was about to hug her, I could sense that she wasn’t equally warm. She nodded her head, shot a plastic smile and moved ahead leaving me flabbergasted. I couldn’t fathom what was wrong.

Scenario 2 - While on my usual morning walk, I saw an old friend walking down the road. Both of us moved swiftly to cover the distance between us and hugged each other, shared pleasantries, laughed a lot and parted with a promise to meet again soon.

Scenario 2 flashes across my mind very often. Thinking about it brings a smile and my day starts on a positive note. I think of all the good things that life has on offer. At such times, the potholes on the road, traffic jams or even the rash drivers do not bother me. The feeling energizes to work hard and get results even at work place. Relations with colleagues remain cordial throughout the day. Work and result ratio reaches a crescendo and the day is made not just for me but also for those around me.

Let us ask ourselves – which category do we fall in? Everybody will say Scenario 2. Yes true! However, there could be times when we are not our own selves, too preoccupied in personal thoughts and not able to reciprocate in the same vein as our friend did. That does not mean that we wanted to be mean or avoid anybody. The fact is that, that was not our day at all. Unknowingly we missed the friend’s expectations.

Had I not retracted back at the coldness showed by my friend in scenario 1 and insisted on talking, things would have been different for both of us. She would have shared her state of mind. It could have been one of the days when you really feel low and don’t feel like interacting with anyone.

Such state of mind needs its own time to mend. Time is the only healer. And one day something triggers and you come out of your shell. This time is the best time to introspect and understand oneself. Outside chaos is sometimes too loud and mind gets immersed in that. When this kind of silence is experienced, it brings the real emotions, feelings and sentiments to the fore.

It is very essential for us to dive into the realm of our heart and comprehend the situation at hand. Problems are many but solutions lie within us. Friends can offer solutions but decision lies with us.  

Scenarios are a stage and we need to act our part perfectly to make our play a fulfilling experience!!!

Listen to your heart

By - Mridula Chaudhari

As a child when my mother told me to behave properly while guests were around, I wasn't too sure what that meant. I wondered if behaving properly was to sit in a particular posture not moving from my place until I was asked to do so. Or was it to strike a very polite conversation with the visitors? Whatever that meant, I knew I was to be silent and nod and agree to each of our guest’s request and thought process.

Keeping these minimum expectations of my mom, I would ‘behave properly’ and not give her any embarrassing moments. Thus I was the well behaved, well groomed girl of the family. My mother would always be complimented on being such a fortunate parent.  She would take pride and expect me to accompany her everywhere she went. To keep her in good mood lest she would get angry with me, I would visit each of my aunts and uncles and umpteen number of relatives. I was never asked whether I enjoyed these trips and on my part I thought it was my duty.

On the contrary my brother would be most impish and would never comply with our mother's wishes. He would talk to the visiting guests to no end, show them all the new things we bought and share all our family secrets. How the neighbouring aunty borrowed our mom's egg beaters never to return back and such stuff.

Such embarrassing moments would make our mom very uncomfortable. She would try to signal him but he would be too busy sharing stuff to even notice anything amiss.

When alone our mom would scold him and our house would be a perfect pandemonium. He always thought that he never did anything wrong and was merely being truthful and trying to entertain the guests. “I try to keep your guests entertained mom”, he would add. I never saw him regret, ever. He would never be available on our visiting sprees to our aunts and uncles. “My studies will suffer mom”, would be his most favourite answer. Our mother would nod her head with concern and march ahead of me, confident that my own studies were never ‘that’ important.

Today my brother is a successful man, heading a billion dollar company and a globe trotter. As a child, I would not put him in the rebellion category but he surely spoke his mind. He was never scared of speaking the truth or exposing something that was not right. He respected our mom but he was not scared of her. He shared a healthy relationship with her and most of the times his arguments were rational. He always stood by his arguments.

Pan camera on me now. I am living a peaceful life as a home maker with little ambitions. Now I behave the way my husband likes it. He is apparently happy with me and we rarely argue. I don't know what exactly I like, since I like everything that he likes and I dislike everything that he dislikes. Whether it is the kind of movies or music, kind of friends we socialize with or the colour of curtains in our house, our choices match exactly to the T.

I realized early that my happiness lied in agreeing and accepting rather than arguing and rebelling. What did I finally want? Peace and happiness, contentment and companionship. I was getting all this in ample amount.

My brother and I, both are happy today. I listened to each of our mother's sermon and he listened to his heart. There is never a totally right or totally wrong approach to one’s behaviour. Some of us accept and agree while others fight and achieve! Good luck to both of us!!!

Mrs Pinkcheeks: Exit Grief Enter Happiness

Mrs Pinkcheeks: Exit Grief Enter Happiness: By - Mridula Chaudhari                                                                                                                  ...

Exit Grief Enter Happiness

By - Mridula Chaudhari                                                                                                                

A happy person is a healthy person. A happy person is a rich person. A happy person is a peaceful person. Bringing health, wealth and peace is the need of every individual. Every day we all strive to achieve only that.

Personal impurities keep entering our mind and body every day. Just as we bathe, we need to clean our mind of impurities that influence our mind and bring negative thoughts inside. Meeting positive minded friends, talking positive things about people and ourselves begets positivism.

One of my friends, Sheena would always come home with innumerable complaints about people. “I am bogged down with household chores and then office work”, she would complain. Sheena could never see anything positive in any situation. Her husband would always be bossing around, her children would never behave and her colleagues would never consider her part of their gatherings. Sheena was otherwise very large hearted and compassionate person, but nothing was working right for her.

In fact everything was working right for Sheena but she could not see the positives in anything. She never allowed any space to her husband or her children. She considered all their problems her own. This was the biggest mistake that she was making. She was trying to bring happiness into their life and in the process ignoring herself completely. Her friends and colleagues also avoided her company since she would air only negative thoughts.

Together we discussed and examined her quandary.  She searched herself thoroughly. Yes, there are times when we need to search ourselves to find the real US. Have you ever done that? It is an amazing experience. Just as we see ourselves in the mirror, while searching we can see our mind in the mirror. Instantaneously we can pin point our own mistakes. Having done that, we get into the correction mode, just as Sheena did.

When she realized that she was trying to don too many caps and making others’ happy at the cost of compromising her own health and peace, she started searching for the undo button inside her. Sheena had a herculean task dished out for her. The responsibility that she was shouldering had to be given back to individual members and her focus was now on herself.

Sheena let go of others' problems from her mind. Once done, she enthused enthusiasm, laughed a lot, cracked lot of jokes, listened to soothing music, got back to her hobbies and engaged herself in positive activities, now her life had changed. She looked happier and peaceful while her family members and friends too would not stop raving about her.

As for others, they all carried on with their routine and were happy that Sheena was not meddling with their life anymore.

Someone has said - Hold the present and exhale the past without regret. That is so true!!!

Mrs Pinkcheeks: Good friends are like stars

Mrs Pinkcheeks: Good friends are like stars: By - Mridula Chaudhari Good friends are like stars - that indeed is true!! What do we expect from a friend? Apart from going sho...