My Meditation Spree

Mridula Chaudhari

Meditation has always intrigued me. I am not quite sure, even today, what actually transpires in a person while meditating. Meditation has known to have freed people of their problems. But I feel there could be only two ways of freeing oneself of problems. One is, during meditating, you think so hard about the problem that you get a solution and arrive at a eureka moment. The other could be that you are actually forgetting the problem for some time or trying to forget it. But when you are back to normal life, the problem still stares at you in your face. So the best way to tackle a problem, according to me is to take the bull by the horn and defeat it with your tact and might.

But the other day, I was actually sitting in front of a guru, who was taking us on a ‘Meditation spree’!

He made us think of a real life situation for which we were guilty. He wanted us to relive that situation and slowly erase it out of our system and forget about it completely. I was thoroughly impressed about the whole idea of cleansing our minds this way.

Such a situation is certainly part and parcel of everyone’s life. Something we are guilty of. It could be a small condition of refusing to lend a pencil to a stranger which keeps pricking our minds or stamping foot of a friend while we were children. That particular event comes to our mind like an uninvited guest and we keep feeling guilty about it all over again. Do we really need to undergo such guilt pangs and keep making our life miserable?

The worst part is there is no undo button there. However much we may try to salvage but the situation cannot be altered. As if, it was destined to happen. Thus the only thing that can be altered is how to deal with it presently.

Or rather how we deal ourselves with. In our meditation session, we were asked to remove that experience from our minds altogether. Until then, I didn’t know, we could do that. Erase something from our memories forever, not naturally but by design. And bravo! Today if you ask me what did I erase? I am unable to tell you because that part of my guilt does not live inside me anymore.

I cannot thank the person who taught me this technique, enough. I thank myself too for carrying myself to that place in the wee hours of Saturday morning leaving my warm bed and experiencing such an extraordinary event in my life.

That doesn’t mean that we should keep making mistakes, feel guilty about it and then go meditate. But the cleansing part of meditation was something that I was completely unaware of. But believe me, it works and it works wonders!! Try it to experience it!!!

Jonathan Livingston Seagull

Mridula Chaudhari

When we talk about the celebrated writers of literature, what amazes me is their quality of being relevant today even after having written hundreds of years ago. How can a person think through the human psychology to the extent where he is never defunct or his thoughts are pertinent after several hundred years later?

Today let’s browse through the pages of ‘Jonathan Livingston Seagull’ written by Richard Bach. The story revolves around a seagull who is bored with the daily squabbles and life, of merely working to eat two meals a day and with meaningless materialism. He wants to do something bigger and not live a confined life. He was done with screeching and fighting with the flock around the piers and fishing boats and diving on scraps of fish and bread.

He wanted to fly high. He wanted to learn to fly higher in the sky and learn new skills. Isn’t this what everyone of us feel from inside? We long for many things, however seldom taking the right steps to achieve them. In this pursuit, Bach’s Seagull is outcast by his own breed. His parents and other fellow seagulls completely disapprove of this bold step taken by Jonathan. This too is how typical of us always condemning someone who behaves differently and does not take the oft trodden path.

Bach’s Jonathan experiments with his flying and reaches a flock who takes him in their wings. Now they teach him new tricks of flying at an even higher speed. These gulls are a class apart and offer to teach these traits to Jonatahn. Jonathan is ecstatic and he works hard and learns to fly with immense speed thereby making best of the opportunity he stumbles upon. He makes sure to bring finesse in his pursuit.

However, once an expert at flying he thinks about his flock back home and wishes to go back to them. He wants to go back, not to show off his prowess but to make them realize the importance of better things in life. He wants to reassure them that merely catching a prey and eating it is not life, it has many facets to it.

And to my mind this was the most difficult challenge for Jonathan. Learning is one thing but teaching the thoughts that are against the common belief is the most difficult task. Jonathan needed first to forgive those who outcaste him, teach them the new tricks and ensure their progress.

This is what is called giving back to the society. All great men try to give back to the society and make it a better place to live for everyone. Life is about learning, earning and returning back.

We all have a duty towards our society to make it a better place to live for ourselves, others and for generations to come. So much has been written by the masters for us to mull on. We only have to take a step forward and make living life an extraordinary experience.

Let’s take a leaf out of Richard Bach’s Jonathan Livingston Seagull, chew over it and work on it!!!

Mrs Pinkcheeks: Let's be proud of our children

Mrs Pinkcheeks: Let's be proud of our children: Mridula Chaudhari Undoubtedly women are an emotional breed. Tears trickle down their cheeks more often, though, of late, they have l...

Let's be proud of our children

Mridula Chaudhari

Undoubtedly women are an emotional breed. Tears trickle down their cheeks more often, though, of late, they have learnt to control their emotions quite well. Love and care run in their blood stream continuously. That must be the reason why God has entrusted with children’s care to women and not men. On first instance, a child also cries for his ‘Ma’ or ‘Mom’ more than his ‘Dad’ or ‘Paa’. A woman has always been taught to care for her child by her mom. For any small issue that she may face her mother has made her aware of how to deal with the situation.

What a young mother is never told is what happens when the child grows up. You can find umpteen number of books on teenage problems. Answers and solution to any teenage problem is available on the click of a button. So much so that a mother can preempt such problems and even is two steps ahead of her teenage child. She can make sure that no emergency arises and her child can come out of adolescent age unscathed.

What the young mother is never told or made aware of is, what happens when the children grow up. How to tackle the situation when the birds leave their nests to experience new pastures? How to come to terms with the situation of emptiness? How to change lifestyle to suit the new situation? How to remain busy while the children are too engrossed with their lives to think of their moms? How to make peace with thyself? How to bring joy to her life and open new opportunities for herself?

Yes, most moms find tackling this situation very difficult. But that’s the truth of life and one must accept this very gracefully. Keeping busy with our hobbies, learning new skills and keeping occupied helps overcome this feeling of loneliness. Though it does surface time and again but to overcome it is the art that one must learn.

Most importantly it is very important to realize that the children haven’t forgotten us, they are trying to cope with life without our support. They are trying to make a mark of their own and eventually make us proud. If this feeling is understood, feeling of depression will never be felt.

Bravo!!!

Mrs Pinkcheeks: Hamari Amrita!

Mrs Pinkcheeks: Hamari Amrita!: Amrita Pritam is a towering name in Hindi and Punjabi literature! Hats off to the women that she portrays in her stories! In her openin...

Hamari Amrita!

Amrita Pritam is a towering name in Hindi and Punjabi literature! Hats off to the women that she portrays in her stories! In her opening lines she writes, every story has a protagonist and the second character is either the circumstances or the lover. The peripherals could be the other supporting characters, doors, windows, house or even the stairs. However there is a third character also, the one who writes the story. But Amrita Pritam refuses to become the third character because she says that a writer lives the protagonist’s life. She takes the burns and brunt on her chest and she even cries along with the main character.

How true it is! A writer is the shadow of the protagonist and with every calamity that the protagonist faces, she herself undergoes the trauma, calm or joy. There is one more angle to a story, and that is the reader. A reader is the sound board and a mirror. It is for the readers that a writer writes and takes her inspiration from.

Pritam’s protagonists are women of grit and valour. They have chosen to be independent and resilient and reject those who try to bully them. In the days of partition when women had no voice, Pritam portrayed gritty women who never compromised on self esteem.

They all had beautiful dreams in their hearts. They came from various strata of society but they were all the same in their mind, never compromising on their goals and beliefs. They were intense and never let their demure down. They were all lovable.

They would believe in a person very easily and hence were an easy prey.  When they realized their mistakes they never took any revenge but chose to live their life on their own terms. Whether it’s Angoori or Lachcho or Amkadi all of them are equally lovable. You cannot choose Pritam’s one protagonist over another. It’s a proof enough how deeply Pritam must have felt about all of them and how much care she must have taken to pen them one by one. Each one with equal zest and depth!

When today we talk about feminism and fight over more powers for women, Pritam’s protagonists come to my mind as the most forward thinking women. There was nothing going right for them. They worked hard in most difficult conditions, they were overpowered by men, they had no say in any matter but they still kept up their individuality. They did not fight for their rights, they fought their own emotions. They never made any attempt to change the society but they never let their hearts change even in the adverse conditions.

Amrita Pritam has given us a treasure that is very precious. Her writings are fresh even in the days of Facebook and Google. I salute to her and her pen which is immortal!!!

Let us all make an attempt to glance through the minds of these women, at least once! 

Finding the ME time

By - Mridula Chaudhari

When my dear friend told me that she was on a rejuvenating vacation, I was literally thrilled. I loved that idea of going to an exotic place, all by myself with the cell phone switched off and taking in the beauty of the surroundings. Exploring the new place and living all by myself.

How do you find this idea? Does it scare you or excite you? For there will be only these two extreme reactions to this idea of a vacation. For me it’s a perfect vacation.

Don’t you think, all of us over 40 have actually forgotten to spend time by ourselves? Our minds are so tuned to work on the given direction that seldom do we really live our life for our own self. Always trying to accommodate others and being helpful takes a toll. This accommodating for everyone else whether its office, office collegues, friends, family is so trying that you want to break all the shackles and fly like a free bird.

Trust me when you feel like it and can’t take off to an ‘exotic’ location just take your two wheeler, kick start it and take off on a lonely road. Let the cool air brush your cheeks and hair and enjoy the feeling. It is heartening to take a long drive like this. It beats the whole experience of driving in an air conditioned car with closed windows. Let the teenager come out of you and let your heart feel the thrill and your mind young. For few hours forget who you are and what responsibilities you need to discharge. Be childlike and be yourself.

These are some small tips to remain happy and young. It beats the monotony set in due to drudgery of routine. Reading a book all alone in the house also is a good stress buster. Or doing all those things that you’ve been doing as a girl, and cannot find time for them makes life energetic. Polishing nails, going to the spa, soaking in warm water, visiting an old friend, watching a hilarious movie all by yourselves are few other ways of keeping young.

Try this and you will get new wings to recharge yourself!

Kya Khoya….. Kya Paya……

By- Mridula Chaudhari

Thank you friends for missing this space for new posts, new ideas and new thoughts. Your phone calls have brought me back!

I have abstained from writing for reasons not known to me either. However, my dear friends, you have pulled me back to the place where I rightfully belong. I am back to say ‘Good Bye’ to the year soon to end and welcome the new year with a bang.

Amazon

It is time we really peeked into our own self to find out what we did, what we should have done, what we missed and what we could not do in the year gone by. Don’t you think, our mind is a well which is deep and many thoughts remain buried inside? We seldom peep inside and try to fathom our deeper senses to realize what we have achieved so far. The race is so fierce that we never get any opportunity to bask in our glory. Forever we are trying to chase a new horizons.

This year end, I have decided to take stalk of the situation and convey my sincere thanks to all those people who have brought happiness to my life. Needless to say the list starts from my maid who has given me the support that I cannot dream of getting from anybody else. She has been instrumental in making my life much more livable. How else do you think I could host dinners for my friends and relatives? Reach office on time each day of the year and not be ridiculed for coming late? Sleep peacefully at night without getting concerned about next day’s household chores? Should anybody ask me, who has been the backbone of my life for the past one year? The prize will go to my Sunita J

This is no Filmfare award function that we have to thank our dad and mom and husband and children. This is life man J

Let’s be for once thankful to our boss who has utilized our time more productively and also gave us a feel good factor when we look at our bank pass book. He isn’t always a creep man J Let’s give him some benefit of doubt and be more sensitive towards him and thank him for considering us useful.

Let’s also be thankful to that neighbor who has been stabbing us in the back. If not for her, how would we become so strong and ready to take the world head on?

Last but not the least, let’s be thankful to our own selves for being strong and withstanding all the odds against very hot summers, very trying days of demonetization, being patient to read all WhatsApp messages and replying to at least half of them, remembering birthdays of family, extended family, friends and pets, for online shopping festivals that has made life really really easy without going through the hassles of travelling, for the new coffee shop that has come up around the corner, for the newly dug roads that has made us expert drivers, for Rahul Gandhi who has given us enough fodder throughout the year to laugh and cry at the same time, to the film fraternity who dished out variety of cinema.

Do you think I have forgotten anybody? Yes, I know I have but let’s do a silent prayer and add our own ‘Thank You babies’ J

Good bye 2016 and Welcome 2017……more power, more blessings and more perseverance to all of us!!!!

Amen!!!

Peace of mind on SALE…SALE…SALE

By- Mridula Chaudhari

For every minute you remain angry, you give up sixty seconds of peace of mind - Ralph Waldo Emerson

                                                                                                                                                                        
   Early morning cup of tea always has an accompaniment, that of a daily newspaper. I can’t think of my morning cuppa without my most bankable companion. It is such an amazing mix that few can live without. Now a days, however, many households do not get their daily newspaper, they prefer reading online. This is a good habit, costs less, but does it give similar joy? I have my own doubts.

    Akbar Shaikh is an exceptional example of a newspaper vendor. Whatever the weather, heavy rain or chilling cold, Akbar has to drop the newspaper at my doorstep, exactly at 5.15. He braves all weather conditions, his own home conditions, his physical condition or his health condition. I cannot but admire Akbar for his regularity and prompt service. On the days when waking up is difficult, I take my inspiration from Akbar and leave the bed promptly.

    Coming back to the newspaper reading, on that particular day I took the newspaper inside and it felt extremely bulky. Thinking that there is load of news in it, I grabbed at it and with my steaming hot cup of tea proceeded to read it. But lo…, I kept turning page after page and advertisements kept staring in my face. Diwali Dhamaka was happening much before Diwali. With sales by the most popular online stores, newspaper shouted….SALE….SALE…..SALE.

   If these were online sales, then why did they need print media to support them for advertising? Why couldn’t they just confine their shouts of SALE….SALE…SALE online? If they did so, life for people like me, who read news in the newspaper, would be so much more livable?

There was so much sale, that I felt they would give the goodies free of cost after a while!!! Their Diwali Dhamaka was already making dhamakas at people’s house with women fighting with their husbands to loosen their purse strings.

    I kept turning page after page and still there was no news. I was wondering what happened to Pakistan and to PM’s itinerary and if girls were safe in our country, all of a sudden. The newspaper had only the SALE…..happening with cell phones, jewellery, TV, Refrigerator etc. on offer.

    I was wondering why people were spending so much money, spending or squandering, and that too just by clicking and entering their credit card numbers. Once Diwali is over and it is back to the grind, I can bet we would have bought half the things that we did not require at all. These goodies have entered our homes and taken away not just the space in our homes but our peace of mind too. In the bargain we SOLD our peace of mind, I guess!!!                                                                

Highs & lows of growing up

By - Mridula Chaudhari

Best books 

Turning current circumstances into opportunity is key to success!

Stepping out of Std. V and stepping in Std. VI and going in the next class every year is the best phase for children. Not just for children but for their parents too, I guess. Children have considerable time to enjoy their study time and play time. If you ask the children however, or even their mothers they will differ with my opinion. Mothers of school going children are always bogged down by their child’s incessant demands and the demands of the current education system. However, trust me they say all this only because they have not seen the days ahead.

     Come college days and the challenges are multiplied. Students lose their focus completely and are at a loss to know what they were supposed to do. They come under tremendous pressure from their peers and parents too. They need to spend time hanging around with their friends and also in their study rooms. Pressure to deliver good results looms large as this is the time when they have to face competitive exams too.

      There is no need to panic though. Sincerity and hard work with a dash of smartness helps sail through. Their job is only to keep focus and believe in themselves. There are number of choices thrown in front of them, spoilt for choices as they say more frequently. It’s where the proficiency of prioritizing helps to a large extent. If the choices are studied thoroughly, they can be tackled in the best possible way. There is certainly no need to panic at such times. There is no need to regret the past or be anxious about the future. Life takes its own course and if we are focused nothing can go horribly wrong.

     Once you take up the course the next worry is whether, I will do well or not, whether I will get a good break with the current course or not. The list however does not stop here it goes on like the proverbial tail of the hanuman, never ending.

     If that is so, is there any reason to keep cribbing about the current situation we are in? We are out here to create our own destiny, but sometimes we end up being victims of circumstances? Is there anything wrong here? Sometimes we may find ourselves better positioned than what we had dreamt of. Learning to accept our surroundings and circumstances is the key to success. Accept and smile than reject and whimper.

     Turning current circumstances into opportunity is the key to success! “The people who lose are the ones who either don’t fail at all and get stuck, or the ones who fail so big, they don’t get to play again.” —so said Seth Godin.

By - Mridula Chaudhari

Mobile phones

Treatise with Technology

To crash an airplane, you need to start flying one, said my friend. That got me thinking and thinking really hard. How true it was what he said. His reaction came due to a lame excuse given by me for not able to meet him since he was staying way too long from my place.

It is so easy for us to say no to a particular activity that sounds inconvenient. We conveniently call off everything that we cannot identify with little thinking what it may have on offer. When Rashmi was asked to write for her school magazine, she conveniently replied that she doesn’t have any inclination towards creative writing. Rashmi did not as much give a try and finally could not develop any writing prowess. However, Shubhangi took up the opportunity and tried her hand at it and pursued it until she became a good writer. Today she can boast of writing several articles in several editions and takes pride in her achievement.

It is not an easy task to learn a new trait but giving it a try certainly is. Learning a new skill can open new doors and give new perspectives. A man is a student all his life, they say. In this regard, senior generation has a hard task at hand. With newer features getting added to the gadgets, they have to learn new skills everyday. My mom once made me sit next to her and show how to use WhatsApp on her new cell phone. After the initial lessons and quite a few Q&As and practice sessions, today she can use @ feature better than I. She makes sure she gets the latest upgrades and converses in all the languages she knows. I finally learned how to write in vernacular only from her. Her forwards aren’t forwards, she types the best ‘Thoughts’ herself before sending them. She secretly feels that she can get good senses prevailing on me. I, at my end, wish I could get her gyan right.

The excitement that she shows in learning new things is exemplary. If we can get our children to be as excited about things around us, they can all fly an airplane I guess!!!

Hikikomori – the new fad

By - Mridula Chaudhari

Japan is one of the most developed nations across the world. Tourists throng Tokyo and are overawed at the progress that Japan has made in all areas. Technology is used liberally which has made life of its people much easier than ours. Their public transport is said to be remarkable. Their subway and train systems are convenient and accurate which makes moving around easy and comfortable. To make the long story short, Japan is a land of abundance, a man made marvel.

But behind this razzmatazz there lies a sad story too. According to a survey released by the Government, more than half a million young boys and girls have shunned society and chosen to live isolated lives. This phenomenon is said to be called as ‘hikikomori’ by the Japanese Government. A person is said to be ridden with hikikomori if he or she has chosen to live in isolation for six months or more without going to school, work or venturing out to socialize.

The interesting element about hikikomori is that it is not caused by sheer laziness, as one would feel. The main reason is stated to be unable to succeed in life or in career. Now this is a serious matter. Competition is fierce in all areas and without that there is no urge to move ahead. This very need to be on the top must have made Japan so technically savvy and much more ahead of us. They say India will need at least 50-60 years to catch up with Japan and its technological advancement. Though that may be true, we at least do not have to fight with such a situation pertaining to hikikomori.

India’s social structure is so strong that even an aunt, a friend, a didi or a dada will never let our children get into the skin of hikikomori. The family pressures may drive a young boy to work hard, to do well but he will not stay indoors for as many as six months just because he ‘doesn’t feel like going to school’.

The demographics show that people affected by hikikomori are from middle class families and in the age group of 15 to 39, with men being more affected than women who face huge pressures to succeed early in life in school and in jobs as well. I am happy that we have understanding parents who care more about the wellbeing of their children than their careers.

Though this kind of social reclusion is not restricted to Japan, other nations who show this style of behavior, though not in high numbers are US, China and Spain among other nations. India does not even feature in the list. But if our education system and other related issues are not sorted out early, we can expect our best brains to be cooling their heels at home with a video game or a comic in their hands.

Let this only be a sounding board to all of us and vow to safeguard our children from getting into something like this!!

Let’s leave them alone!!

By- Mridula Chaudhari

Internet is abuzz with stories of Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt’s divorce.  Brangelina has been the most sought after couple the world over and this falling apart of Brad and Angelina has left everyone flabbergasted. How come? Oh really? How’s that possible? That was bound to happen. It’s his karma! These are a few and varied opinions of people close and not so close to Brangelina, as they are …oops were called.

The teenagers are surfing the Internet for more and more stories of the couple, they can lay their eyes on. The fingertips are clicking on each and every ounce of news they can savour. The news is both heartening and heart breaking. Single status of Pitt has made many a maidens happy, less said about the male fraternity.

Whole lot of stories of how they met, where they met first, how their chemistry worked in Mr. & Mrs. Smith, how the Friend’s star calls it Pitt’s Karma, how it’s a complete sham, how it was false from the get go is dishing out quite a pot boiler and how they fabricated their love story to double their star power. We won’t be surprised if a movie will soon be made on ‘Brangelina’. There could also be a book penned by one of them that will now come out of the closet and sell like hot cake.

Now one wonders what makes two people love each other beyond limits and after few years they cannot stand each other. Why do people undergo such an emotional change over time? What could be a possible reason for not liking two people who had shared the most beautiful and intimate moments together?

And what happens to the children? Does the couple ever think of these things before deciding to get divorced? The most common reasons for any divorce are said to be heavy arguments, infidelity, lack of commitment, lack of compatibility and abuse. But mind you these are the reasons for the not so famous couple. For the high and mighty the reasons are different and most probably difficult to fathom for the common people.

Hence let us just leave them alone and focus on our personal relationships and safeguard them. Let us make lives of people around us happy and be happy ourselves rather than digging into Brangelina’s life!

From Acche din to Sacche dil!

By - Mridula Chaudhari

When will we actually be able to see Acche din? This question has often been haunting the Indian population. Ever since the phrase has been coined, like fools we have been waiting for the day to dawn upon us. But looks like, the dawning is being postponed day after day and day after day. Bacches are growing up to become bades and netas are trying to become sacche waiting for the acche din.

Acche din for Kapil Sharma have never descended (as if they descend from the skies) for he keeps making fun of the phrase in his show time and again. If dins aren’t acche for Kapil then less said for people like us who can’t even fathom the meaning of the phrase. Now with the current controversies of cutting mangroves is certainly not acche din for the standup comedian of the small screen. However for Katrina, acche din are certainly here, what with she being bestowed the Smita Patil Award for excellence in Cinema, whether its acche din for the viewers of cinema is a debatable issue.
So when Nitishji advices to drink juice instead of a peg or two with lights turned off, it certainly spell acche din for a healthy society.

People jumping signals in Pune will be notified via an inland letter sent to their home. They will have to pay the fine in stipulated period and if they fail to do so, a court notice will be served to them. The camera fitted on the signals will be catching the footage of number plates and if the culprits refuse to accept their fault, their own video will be shown to them. Now this is certainly not acche din for Punekars since jumping signal has now become their habit and they get a high in doing this. But certainly this spells acche din for the traffic police who are seen checking their cell phones while standing on the signals and ignoring the Jumping Jacks.

Under a Swaccha Bharat campaign, in a village in Haryana a drone will be monitoring those who defecate in the open. Notices will be sent to those who are seen doing the ‘deed’ and if they do not accept the responsibility, they will be shown their own videos? Now this certainly cannot be called acche din for the people at large.

Finally it is up to us to decide what are acche din and what are not. For having a disciplined state, we will have to initially get rid of our own bad habits. The habit of throwing rubbish on the roads, jumping the signals, not maintaining civic discipline etc. will have to be done away with. For this lot of work will have to be spearheaded at the root level. This will not be taken very positively since the connotation of acche din is all about making the city beautiful overnight by somebody and else and certainly not ME. Somebody else needs a change, I certainly don’t. And if I need a change then certainly it is not acche din for me.

With Acche din, sacche dil will follow soon!!!

Show your worth!!!

There is an interesting story about a snake that lived in a village. The snake was a bit ferocious and would keep biting people without a reason. There came a saint in the village once. People complained to him about the snake’s habit of being reckless in his behavior. The saint spoke to the snake and asked him to be a little docile and not show his aggression so much.

The snake listened to him and tamed down. He would be seen lying on the streets while people would kick him and pass by. The snake would not even budge and suffer all the injuries without any combat. The saint visited the village again and saw the bleeding snake by the roadside. He went to the snake and asked what caused this current condition. The snake told him that since he was supposed to keep quiet, he did not retaliate even when people came and kicked him several times. He did nothing to hurt anybody and did not even stop people from hurting him. The saint then told the snake, I asked you not to hurt people; I never stopped you from spreading your hood and raising your head. If you had done so, nobody would have had the courage to hurt you like this.

The snake learnt his lesson the hard way, one needs to protect himself, not by hurting others but by showing what he is capable of doing. If that is not done, people would naturally take advantage of him.

The snake certainly taught me a thing or two about life. I realized that there are so many around us, who try to take advantage of ohers. The beauty is in shooing them away without harming. Showing them what you are capable of without saying it in so many words. Mere exhibiting aggression can do the needful. 

Good luck!!!

From Ordinary to Extraordinary

Mridula Chaudhari

Sonia loved to mingle with everybody in the class. She did not go by groupism at all. Typically in schools there are groups formed of likeminded pupils. For Sonia, groups never existed. She would talk to everyone, interact with all the girls and even helped each one whoever needed help.

Sonia always said that she was an ordinary girl. Her parents were not super rich, she was not extremely brilliant either, neither was she an exceptional beauty. She was, in plain words, a simpleton. She took everyone on their face, believed in what was said to her and never complained about anything.

 She was very satisfied in what she possessed and valued all her belongings. She would not waste anything and say, “I am an ordinary person, I cannot afford to waste”.

Sonia had a set of her own life rules. She was a self made person, never depending on anybody for anything. Most of all not expecting anybody’s favour, though not disrespecting if somebody genuinely wanted to help her. She had her hobbies which kept her busy in her free time. She wouldn’t chat on WhatsApp all day to keep herself entertained. She used the internet to gather information useful to her.

She lived life fully and hardly went with the herd. She did hang around at Cafes but always had her timelines well set for herself. Morality was her topmost priority and hence she always referred to herself as ‘ordinary person’. Sonia was lifeline for her parents, they were completely dependent on her for their daily needs. On her part she did all their jobs unflinchingly. She kept saying, “I come from an ordinary background and taking care of my family is my priority”.

Though there was no room for mistakes in Sonia’s life, she still committed mistakes. But instead of covering them up with lies and passing the buck to someone else, she accepted her mistakes confidently. She was always sorry for any wrongdoings and kept reiterating that she would never repeat the mistake and that she should be forgiven for that since she was an ‘ordinary girl’ and not a genius.

I kept wondering, if Sonia is an ordinary person what does an extraordinary person look like? Does she/he have extraordinary powers like Superman or Batman? Can she walk on the roof or drop several villainous men dead? Sonia could do nothing of this kind.

She was the one who stood up to what is right, was sincere to her parents, friends and most of all to herself, she selflessly helped those in need and called herself ‘ordinary girl’.

My interaction with her set my thinking process, “If Sonia is ordinary then what is being extraordinary?” For me I have not met any human being as extraordinary as Sonia. How can she be an ordinary human being? I did not possess half of her qualities and I still felt I had achieved a lot. Today I stand humbled, there is so much to achieve and learn from Sonias of our time.

Girl Power

By - Mridula Chaudhari

Remember the days you wrote your name on the freshly covered notebook! The feeling of writing  our own name fills us with pride. We make sure that our handwriting is the best. Then to read that name, written in our own handwriting, on our own notebook gives us a different high. It gives us a sense of ownership of that particular notebook. If that is so, imagine the ecstasy of the girls, coming from economically weaker background, when they see their name on the nameplate of their own house?

What? Name of a girl child on the nameplate of her house? That sounds a little weird. We are more akin to reading a man’s name on a nameplate. But that is true, a girl child’s name adorns her home, at least in the district of Balod in the state of Chhattisgarh. In this state a district collector, Rajeshsinh Rana of district of Balod has come up with a brave plan. He mounted nameplates on 2700 houses with names of the girl child in their household. With the help of local leaders, Rana, made this brave plan possible.

When the girls saw their own names in white on green background, they were taken by surprise. Until now, a girl child never thought she was such an important person in the household. The feeling of belongingness was never uppermost in her heart. “Oh, so this is my house too”, this could be a feeling she must have experienced.

With male dominating society, only the male members had that privilege until now. Watching their daughter’s name on the nameplate must have been quite a bashing to their ego. But Rana gave them no choice. The male members of Chhattisgarh had to abide by the orders and had to do so willingly and happily too.

What next now? Will Vasudha’s name on the nameplate be enough? Will she get respect? Will she at least be heard? Will her opinion matter to other family members? Will she be allowed to study in school as long as she wishes? There are these and many more questions.

What’s in a name? She must be heard and given the power to make decisions, at least for herself. She should be empowered to handle herself independently when she grows up. Hearth and family should not be the end of her life. She should be given opportunities and education to handle herself.

Though this is the first step initiated by Rana, the next steps need to be taken by the girl’s mother. If the mother can stand by her daughter, nobody can take undue advantage of her daughter. The father and brother will also follow suit. Women should support their counterpart and the world can be a much better place to live in. The mother will have to stand by her daughter and they both need to fight for their rights together.

We need more of such Ranas not just in Chhattisgarh but in other states as well. It is a path breaking action no doubt which makes the writing on the wall very clear now.

Mrs Pinkcheeks: World is a stage

Mrs Pinkcheeks: World is a stage: By - Mridula Chaudhari Scenario 1 – While on my usual morning walk, I saw an old friend walking down the road. Thinking that she is ap...

World is a stage

By - Mridula Chaudhari

Scenario 1 – While on my usual morning walk, I saw an old friend walking down the road. Thinking that she is approaching me, I excitedly came forward to meet her. Just when I was about to hug her, I could sense that she wasn’t equally warm. She nodded her head, shot a plastic smile and moved ahead leaving me flabbergasted. I couldn’t fathom what was wrong.

Scenario 2 - While on my usual morning walk, I saw an old friend walking down the road. Both of us moved swiftly to cover the distance between us and hugged each other, shared pleasantries, laughed a lot and parted with a promise to meet again soon.

Scenario 2 flashes across my mind very often. Thinking about it brings a smile and my day starts on a positive note. I think of all the good things that life has on offer. At such times, the potholes on the road, traffic jams or even the rash drivers do not bother me. The feeling energizes to work hard and get results even at work place. Relations with colleagues remain cordial throughout the day. Work and result ratio reaches a crescendo and the day is made not just for me but also for those around me.

Let us ask ourselves – which category do we fall in? Everybody will say Scenario 2. Yes true! However, there could be times when we are not our own selves, too preoccupied in personal thoughts and not able to reciprocate in the same vein as our friend did. That does not mean that we wanted to be mean or avoid anybody. The fact is that, that was not our day at all. Unknowingly we missed the friend’s expectations.

Had I not retracted back at the coldness showed by my friend in scenario 1 and insisted on talking, things would have been different for both of us. She would have shared her state of mind. It could have been one of the days when you really feel low and don’t feel like interacting with anyone.

Such state of mind needs its own time to mend. Time is the only healer. And one day something triggers and you come out of your shell. This time is the best time to introspect and understand oneself. Outside chaos is sometimes too loud and mind gets immersed in that. When this kind of silence is experienced, it brings the real emotions, feelings and sentiments to the fore.

It is very essential for us to dive into the realm of our heart and comprehend the situation at hand. Problems are many but solutions lie within us. Friends can offer solutions but decision lies with us.  

Scenarios are a stage and we need to act our part perfectly to make our play a fulfilling experience!!!